Jalaluddin Mogambo Akbar is not happy with his son, Salim, as contrary to his father’s character, Salim’s personality has no semblance of cruelty. Mogambo is rather peeved to see his hopeless son’s aversion t
o wine and women as well. Mogambo loses his cool one day when he finds Salim sipping hot milk instead of wine and plainly ignoring the courtesan trying to seduce him, thus insulting her seductive prowess. Mogambo severely admonishes his son and packs him off to Rajputana, to learn a few “manly” lessons from his maternal uncle, ‘Man’ Singh.
With the passage of time, Mogambo’s empire of evil expands, and Salim learns lessons in debauchery. The word finally arrives one day that Prince Salim “did it”. Mogambo calls for Salim’s pyjamas to see evidence of the act. After he is sufficiently convinced, he flashes a savage grin and says: “Mogambo, khush huwa!” The ambience reverberates with the cries of “Hail Mogambo!”
Salim comes back to the capital amidst great pomp. Mogambo receives his son with open arms and immediately offers to go whore-hunting with him. Salim makes a face and turns down the offer. Although Salim has been taught manly ways, the nice old friendly spirit is still there in him. He starts despising his father.
Then one day he meets Nadira Bano a.k.a Anarkali in a bizarre way. Mogambo set up Anarkali as a statue in revealing clothes, hoping that would have some sort of a Pygmalion effect on Salim (in a perverted manner, of course). Instead, Salim falls in love with her and wants to have her for life. This technique backfires for Mogambo, as he wanted to have Anarkali for himself. Troubles between father and son start from here. 
Salim starts meeting Anarkali quite often. They start singing songs in gardens, while Mogambo becomes a full-time peeping Tom, voyeuristically keeping a track of his son’s dalliance with the girl. Mogambo employs a nasty trick: he sends Bahar, an empress hopeful, to seduce Salim and divert his attention from Anarkali. What follows is an intense competition by both women to win the favour of the prince. Bahar tries the Striptease act ala Demi Moore fashion, as teri mehfil mein kismet aazma kar hum bhi dekhenge plays in the background; but Anarkali does the famous Sharon Stone act from Basic Instinct and wins the day. This was just too much for Mogambo. He bans Anarkali from meeting Salim. At this, Anarkali decides to do an item number in court, to please Mogambo. Pyar kiya to darna kya follows. Mogambo throws flying kisses and money at Anarkali as she dances and keeps on saying “Mogambo khush huwa”, while an angry Salim glowers at both.
Salim feels his father’s nasty intentions and flees the capital with his lady love. Mogambo now decides to use violence to get hold of the ‘formula’ (of pleasure), that is Anarkali. Father and son meet on the battlefield.
“Salim, woh naachne waali is khandan ki bahu nehi ban sakti!”
“Mogambo ki tanashahi aur nehi chalegi!”
“Mogambo khush nehi huwa! Anarkali Salim ke saath nehi, apne sasur ke saath mahal mein rahegi!”
This angers Salim very much and he fights his father. But Mogambo is a wily fox. He traps Salim and Anarkali and takes them back to the palace.
In the palace, Mogambo tells Anarkali that she could be his son’s wife for a night, after which, she will have to come to him, or else he would kill Salim. Anarkali agrees out of fear. A suggestive song, Jab raat ho aisi matwaali to subah ka aalam kya hoga plays in the background, as Anarkali goes to be with Salim for a night. She mixes sleeping pills in his drink and he falls asleep, after which Mogambo’s guards come and take her away.
Anarkali quietly enters the harem of Mogambo. He was waiting for her.
“Kaneez is here”
“I will give you whatever you want, Anarkali. You can in fact, be with both Salim and me, if you want to. Mogambo wants to keep everyone khush!”
“Hail Mogambo”—Anarkali cried out.
As the lights dimmed, the guards outside the palace heard just one thing—“Mogambo khush huwa!”
Ardent history buff, movie fanatic, frustrated lover of literature and the Indian cricket team, romantic fool of the highest order, struggling journalist, die-hard quizzer, random thinker, well-known chatter-box, brilliant architect who builds castles in the air, self-proclaimed philosopher, a truly wandering soul with a desire to leave his mark in the sands of time.
22 Comments, Comment or Ping
jitaditya
“manly” lessons from his maternal uncle, ‘Man’ Singh…
Insallah…:D:D:D….
& thanks for “reinterpreting” the old senti songs…:D
Hazarika
U r impossible.
Jayanta
great !!!
good remix
Prachi
I passed on link of this post to pigeons-Mogambo aka Akbar must be rejoicing and poor Salim is turning in his grave! Can you hear- just now taboot of Salim creaked…
I’m sure MTV people should contact you soon for some parody hits.
Urvashi
The writer displays a killer sense of humor…the ‘man’ singh bit is hilarious. He pokes fun at accepted notions of masculinity and does not spare womankind either, from the weight of his funny bone.He may be a misanthropist i suspect. A word of advice…for future readers of his works, leave ur sensibilities behind if u truly want to enjoy his work.
Puranjay
Hey dude,
Stumbled upon your site after searching for “chutiya” on Google Images. Yours was the first result with a picture of Shakti Kapoor as the first image result (heh heh).
Anyway..nice writing style man…I’ll be bookmarking your page.
A few words of advice though, your wordpress blog is not set up properly to show up in search engines…you should change the permalink structures, etc. to make it more search engine friendly..if it all sounds greek, reply to this comment or leave one on my website and I could help you out (for free, of course - from one writer to another)
Lord Mani
Hey buddy, thanks for your valuable suggestions. I’m totally clueless about this wordpress thingy. Could you please help me out?
Puranjay
Sure man.
First, you’ll have to modify your Wordpress permalinks. I’m not sure what Wordpress version you’re using, but go to the Settings -> Permalinks page. There, choose ‘Custom’ and enter ” /%category%/%postname%/ ” (without quotes).
That should do the trick for the search engines…the most important thing though is to get links from other sites…I’ll be happy to give you a couple from the few sites that I own.
Cheers man..good content like yours deserves more readers.
Manjil P Saikia
Hello, found your blog atlast. A better idea would be to choose /%postname%/ as Google does not much care about the categories, if your post names are good enough. May I also suggest the StatPress and Askimet plugins if you are not already using them!
Derekp
I think i’ve seen this somewhere before…but it’s not bad at all
Cornelius
Are you a professional journalist? You write very well.
Ventego
I really like your blog and i respect your work. I’ll be a frequent visitor.
Joy
real nice piece of work..
am glad that you didn’t try to make it too melodramatic….
so in all great work. will be following it now
dmdmdm
Thank you very much for that astonishing article
Abdusalaam alHindi
Hi there.
It’s me from DBM yesterday.
Just wanted to drop-in and say hi. Haven’t read through your blog yet but by the looks of it, it seems interesting.
Will check back later.
By the way, that’s a very funny take on Mughal-e-azam. I would definitely pay to watch your version of Mughal-e-azam. HaHa!
Abdu
( http://abdusalaam.blogspot.com )
Lord Mani
Hey, thanks for visiting my blog! Of course, I do remember you. I haven’t really written much in a long time.
warez serial
Thank you very much for that dazzling article
Sydney Whorton
Excellent! If I could write like this I would be well chuffed. The more I read articles of such quality as this (which is rare), the more I think there could be a future for the Web. Keep it up, as it were.
HELEN MURRAY
hello great blog yea nice work our review website will soon be adding reviews on websites and add them to our blogs as the top best 1000 websites to visit we also do reviews on Product Reviews all types of reviews thank you
Assunta Brandal
This is a great blog you got here. The theme looks nice, awesome color combination.
sumit
Hey,
I think i read it in this magazine which used to come long time ago? Traffic Life?
Did you lift it off from there?
Lord Mani
Hi Sumit! It’s great that you still remember this article. I didn’t lift it, I wrote it! I was the Associate Editor of Traffic Life and I had written it originally.
Now, I work for The Indian Express.
Reply to “Mogambo in Mughal-e-Azam”